Good Morning Readers! It is a delightful day!!!! Baby is busy kicking around. We have an Ultrasound scheduled for next week. So we may or may not discover the gender of our little bean. Depends on how(s)he co-operates with the technician

Of course baby news is the general news of the day, but I wanted to share some more about positive thinking and happy thoughts. I was reading this morning and ran across an article on the internet that discussed how we perceive events in our lives directly affect our emotional and physical health.

I was personally affected by one brief comment made in the article "When we perceive an even in our lives as negative, it can create a sense of separateness from the people and world around us, as well as from ourselves. This feeling of isolation and loneliness breed mistrust, misunderstandings, competition, antagonism and the whole series of health destroying emotions such as fear, anger, hatred, jealousy, bitterness, resentment etc. These negative emotions build up a personality complex of their own, and grow cut of control, destroying both our health and relationships with the people around us."

So how are we dealing with negative events in our lives? What are we doing to have a positive attitude during negative times?

Why parents drink
 
The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. ' Hello ? ' 'Is your daddy home?' he asked. ' Yes ,' whispered the small voice. May I talk with him?'  The child whispered, ' No .'

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, 'Is your Mommy there?' 'Yes.'   'May I talk with her?' Again the small voice whispered, ' No .'

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, 'Is anybody else there?' ' Yes ,' whispered the child, ' a policeman '.

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, 'May I speak with the policeman?'
' No, he's busy ', whispered the child. 'Busy doing what?'  ' Talking to Daddy  and Mommy and the Fireman ,' came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, 'What is that noise?' ' A helicopter ' answered the whispering voice.

'What is going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive. Again, whispering, the child answered, ' The  search team just landed a helicopter .'

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, 'What are they searching for?' Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle... ' ME .'

Delightful, wonderful, fantasmagorical Sunday Morning dear readers! It is another beautiful day in the world of Troubledmom!

Gonna do another redo of DD's room... she wants a more grown up look/feel and I am excited that we are going to be able to do it with just a little work and almost no money. I'll try to get some pictures posted of it in a few days

Also this morning the girls and I were watching Discover Kids Tradinng Spaces Boys and Girls and saw the most amazing room transformation. The designer called it "The Secret Garden" totally fun room for a girl. So we are talking about something similar for the small child's room.

Going to the river later today, maybe having a bbq, and just a nice mellow sort of fun day.

There is a little magic in the air and lets hope that it brings some wonderful things to the day!

So you see the title of this entry. I am totally not feeling happy thoughts or passionate or any of the feel good stuff this morning.

I am hurt, I am angry and I am wary seeing old habits poke their head back up. I am holding my tounge, I am not calling him. But I tell you what, right now I want to just lay into Johnny and rip him apart. Telling him everything he is doing wrong... it would be pointless but is still the urge is there.

I know I can't stuff the feelings away, that just makes me resentful, so somehow before he gets home I need to have a plan to stay calm and let him know what he has done the last few days is not ok and that I am not going to just sit back and accept the behavior.

I know that if I just attack, he will not hear me. So I am really trying to think how to tell him so that he hears what I am saying...

So I stopped writing for a minute to go in search for some ideas... and I found this: Stress occurs whenever what's happening to you isn't what you want. How true is that!!!!

In the bit I was reading, the author says (and I am paraphrasing here) that when we have an adversity in our life we react by thinking about it. As we  think about it, our belief system about the situation gels. Then the beliefs we form cause the consequences to the adversity.

They went on to say that the way we think/believe about a particular situation will make the difference in how we get through the adversity. They talked a bit about becoming depressed and dejected ad wanting to just give up. And then they talked a bit about taking constructive action and at least having some control over what direction we go through the adversity.

So I took a minute and realized that A) I am primarily hurt and angry because I feel as if a boundry was violated in our relationship. It really doesn't matter if it is based on factual action or not. The feeling is there. Because I do not like the feeling my instinctual response is to lash out. Of course I have learned that lashing out is not going to get me what I want so I think how can I convey what I am feeling in a way that he will listen... but as I sit here, I am thinking that even if I say it in a non confrontational way, he isn't going to hear what I am saying because the only way I know how to tell him is "I feel..." and the minute I say "feel" his hearing turns off.

So what to do?

Well I am going to try something I haven't done in a long time... I am going to say how I am feeling in a totally dfferent way than usual.

Well, I may or may not be back later today to post an update. Who knows...

More information on becoming passionate!!! I just discovered a new technique for discovering what you might be passionate about when you are unsure. I need to work on it a bit and then I will be here to post How I did it and what I find out!!!! I am so excited about the excercise and just had to share before I actually got started doing it!

It has to do with the happy thought excercise... so while I am off doing this excercise, dear readers get to thinking about what your happy thoughts are!!!!

See you soon!!!!

Take notice of your thought patterns... Are they limiting thoughts or limitless thoughts...

For instance, you hear about a new class at the local college, it is a subject that really interests you. When you hear about it, what are your first thoughts? Are you thinking positively, knowing that you will be taking this class and really enjoy yourself and maybe learn something new? Or is there limiting thought, how will you fit it in your schedule, is it really a good thing to do, is someone going to disagree with your interest in the subject, do you find yourself talking yourself out of it?

So if you are like I am, there are a lot of limiting thoughts. When you think about starting something new, you hear your parents voices, your friends voices, a teachers voice, even your own voice all telling you that you don't quite measure up to the challenge.

How do we change those negative thoughts? Well the simple answer, as most of us have heard is to change them to postive thoughts. But is it as easy as that?

For me it wasn't... I could repeat some positive thought or affirmation and it just didn't work. Not the way people said it would. So I would get discouraged and give up. Of course this just reaffirmed that I wasn't good enough.

Then one day I was reading an article on changing negative thinking to positive thinking and the person who wrote the article made a suggestion... if you are having a problem believing an affirmation or positive thought try rewording it. I don't remember who the author of the article was, but the impact that had on my life was simply amazing. I don't remember the exact example he gave but here is one that actually worked for me... it has to do with taking that class.

So you hear about the class at the local college, almost immediately you start to think of all the reasons you can't take it and besides you keep hearing the long ago voice telling you you won't pass it with good marks anyway... So the positive affirmation people would tell you to sat something like "I am smart and capable", "I am successful in all I do". So you say them and you aren't feeling smart, you are feeling less and less capable and instead of a success you feel like a failure. So how to change it around?

Most wonderful monday morning dear readers! It is a most fantastmagagical day today! I spent time last night thinking about my goals... thinking about what I really want in my life.. so I came up with a couple of new goals... these don't cover all the "life" areas. But who says I have to have a goal in every area, especially when I will only concentrate on the ones important to me at the moment.

Goal #1~ this is personal but affects everyone around me:

Devote time each day to develop the areas in my life that I am seeking to be stronger, more condusive to the over all goals in my life. Specifically to become a positive thinker, passionate about all the people and activities that I engage in.

Goal #2~ it is wrapped into a family, home, relationship goal:

Create a home environment that is calm, relaxed and comfortable for all family members. Putting together an environment that makes it pleasant for every family member to contribute to the family as a whole. Additionally the home environment will be such that every family member feels empowered to express and be themselves in the world beyond our walls.

Goal #3~ Plan time each and every day to take a look at the direction I am going and ensure that I am adjusting my sails to fit the changes that happen in my life. Steering a course that is taking me to my ultimate goal of being passionate about EVERYTHING in my life. From my home, to my children, to my other relationships, to people and activities that I engage in outside of my family!

So I have been looking at some areas to set goals and thinking about the goals I would like to meet...

My Basic Goal Areas Are:
Family develop a plan to make individule time with each of the kids for somewhere between 30 minutes and an hour a week.

Romantic  develop a plan with my romantic interest that includes ways for us to continue building and strengthening our relationship.
Home  create a plan to have a neat, clean and organized home, that is company ready all the time.             
Spiritual 30 minutes a day reading, praying or any other activity that keeps me in touch with my higher power.
Financial Develope and follow a reasonable and balanced budget.
Career  Being a Mom... more later         
Social  Make time 2 times a week for activities with friends or adult group type activities.
Cultural  not sure
Health attend all prenatal appointments, follow advice of OB, follow up with others as needed.
Physical  spend 15 minutes a day doing some form of excercise.       
Educational develop a 2 year goal and plan to be able to be attending school by Fall 2010.

So there is the basic goals... now I need to get the how do I get there from here ideas going...

It was interesting, while I was reading some stuff on goal setting and the like and one of the articles I read said something about how we need to ask ourselves is the goal for us, something we are passionate about, or is it to please someone else...

This got me to doing a little thinking... there are an aweful lot of goals that I personally have had that were being made to live up to the expectations of someone else and maybe not 100% being true to myself.

SO I looked at my new goals again, after I had already wrote them and posted them...

Most of those aren't passionate me goals... they are still goals set to live up to someone elses expectations...

So I am leaving this up... with the original goals. Sort of as a reminder to myself. The goals that I am going to make tonight are going to be goals that are 100% being true to me and utilizing those things in my life that I am passionate about...

I am off to get my little one a bath... and while I am doing that I am going to be thinking... and thinking... and thinking... and thinking...

What makes me feel PASSIONATE?????

Be DETERMINED! Do you have any goals that you're not putting your whole heart into?   Be WHOLEHEARTED! Which, if any, of your goals are you not absolutely committed to?   Be PASSIONATE! Which of your goals are you the most committed to right now?

So I am looking at being passionate about some of my goals. I want to have commitment and passion for some of the things I want to accomplish in my life.

Some of my goals are so simple. Like having a nice comfortable home for my family to live in. I struggle with keeping a clean house. It isn't like gross, but it isn't as clean and organized as I would like to have it.

So I am looking at HOW I can reach the goal. Because for me it is more than "Just Do It". I do it, everyday... but it seems like I am fighting a losing battle. I can't seem to keep up on it all. Some of the things that I know are holding me back... I am not FIRM enough with the kids to help me get things done. I am also not FIRM enough with making them pick up after themselves.

I also know that although I want it... I don't have PASSION about it. I am thinking about how to get passionate. I am thinking to make housekeeping doable, to make it something I not only want to do BUT also LOVE to do...

I am going to be working on a way to make this happen...

"If you can imagine it, you can achieve it.
If you can dream it, you can become it."
- William Arthur Ward

What do you feel passionate about? Do you feel like you are missing passion from your life? I'm not just talking about sexual relationships here...

The question was poised to me this morning... what are you passionate about? Our success in things can be directly linked to how passionate we feel about something.

So today I am thinking about things I am passionate about and how I can use those passionate feelings to get the things I want...

 Most delightful morning dear readers! It is another most wonderful day in the world of Troubledmom. Everyone is having a nice sleep in and I am up and awake in a nice quite house. Something that doesn't happen very often.

So I was contiplating what I was going to work on with my happy thought stuff today and it occured to me that I have been neglegant of my gratitiude list as well as my happy thought stuff. So....

The question is one we hear often... what are you grateful.thankful for? Everyone says family and friends and stuff like that... many people also include modern convienances like running water, electricity, their computer (ok I admit being grateful for my computer rates right up there with friends and family ::smile:

So I was thinking along those lines and I stopped... some negative thinking had crept in to my thoughts (thats why we need active happy thinking) There was thoughts about gas prices (have to get gas today), there were thoughts about some of the negative people in my life, and thoughts about having to clean house.

So I stopped and asked myself what was positive about each of those things...

Well with the gas situation... at least there is gas available and although there are times when I have to wait to get gas, I am for the most part able to afford it. That is more than many people can do. Two attitude of gratitiude thoughts there.

With the negative people in my life... first they remind me how much I have to be grateful for! They also are effective in teaching me. Some of them just by being examples of what I don't want to be. Some of them by pointing out character flaws I have (often those we find most annoying are because they reveal a character defect in ourselves). Some of them and their negativity are just what we need to see something in a new light. So even though we may have negative people in our lives, they serve a purpose and that purpose may vary but they can be a positive in our lives if we look for the positive lesson to be learned.

And finally for the housework... there is a prayer about housework...where the woman praying says "Lord,thank You for this sink of dirty dishes, we have good food to eat. Thank you for this pile of dirty laundry, we have nice clothes to wear. I'd like to thank You for these unmade beds, they were all comfortable last night." Today that is what I am going to be thinking about as I clean...

Marvelous Tuesday Morning Readers!!! I feel like I have been so neglectful of my blog lately...

I guess it is because life has been fairly calm... I mean we have been busy doing stuff... but the relationship between Johnny and I is going smooth, the kids are all doing good, the pregnancy is nice and uneventful... all in all things are good.

I really want to get started again on my daily happiness work. So I am hoping that I can make it part of my day again... logging in, blogging, and doing my happy thought work...

Todays Happy Thoughts:

1. A cool breeze on a hot summer evening

2. Jumping into a cool river on a hot summer afternoon (like this )

3. Spending time with people you love... and with that I am off to do just that...

So our little county fair started yesterday. Today I took the girls. They had SO much fun! Six hours of rides, food, and fun.

My little one LOVED all the animals:

We had a marvelous fun day and now I am exhausted and off to crawl in between my nice cool sheets and get a good nights sleep...

It's been a busy last few weeks! We had our ultrasound done, baby looked perfect. Our due date was changed to January 3, 2009.

I have been sort of living in a fog. This pregnancy has me TIRED all the time. I really want/need some energy to get things done. It seems all I want to do is nap.

Otherwise, life is pretty good.

We have company coming today, so I have to pull all reserve energy out and get some things done around the house to make it company ready.

So thats my news of the day... I am off to get things done! Hope everyone has a great day!

I am tired... I have spent the last week or so just tired. Doesn't seem to be enough naps available. I know it has to do with the pregnancy. But boy howdy it is getting old...

So I went to my first OB appointment. So far so good, everything is looking good.  So I was thinking my dates might be a little off... yup I was right. Instead of 8 weeks, I am 11 weeks 4 days.

New due date is January 3, 2009. We got to hear the heartbeat. Absolutly amazing! I don't care how many times you hear it. There is something so amazing at hearing that swish swish swish heartbeat of a little person growing inside you.

Next Tuesday is the UltraSound and we go from there... it'll be 12 weeks so MAYBE we can get to see the gender. I am still hoping for blue... Another little boy would be nice. But a girl will be ok too.

So dear readers thats about all for me right now. I'll write again soon!

It is a BEAUTIFUL day today! I woke up to the sound of brids singing outside, the sun was shining, and boy is it ever a MARVELOUS day!

Today is my first OB appointment~ go and find out that everything is ok with Baby and get all the tests they want to do, done. I am excited... gett his appointment out of the way and I should be good to go with only 1 appointment a month for the next few moths.

My strongest desire is to have a nice uneventful pregnancy. No life threatening things to have to worry about, no stress, just a nice calm pregnancy...

So that is later today...

In the mean time I am just gonna hang around, enjoy the kids, who are out for summer vacation, and have fun! Thinking since I have that Dr's appointment today that I might go ahead and help the girls set up the pool and get them to playing in it for a little while. Today is definately not a river day, even though with the weather and my mood that is my first choice

Well dear readers I am off to get the day going! Ya'll have a WONDERFUL and HAPPY day!

Hullo Dear Readers!

It is a beautiful afternoon in my world! Had a little stress earlier in the afternoon but that has settled down and now things are nice and mellow.

Got dinner on~ having shredded pork roast smoothered in bbq sauce and served over a bun and a little salad to go along with it. Good stuff...

I have been so tired and off course since finding out about baby. Today I was thinking... it is time to get it back together and get back on course. My house looks like a small hurricane has gone through it. Nothing gross just that unattended to look. I've not been focusing much on my positive thinking activities, doing any reading, or doing much of anything but eating and sleeping.

So I am setting a goal for myself to be AWAKE and OUT OF BED by 5 in the morning (that means in bed tonight by 10) do my positive thinking excercise and then get myself moving on tidying things up around this place.

I have the next 3 days to pull it together and then the kids are out of school for the summer... The other thing I want to do is set a pretty decent schedule for summer for the girls too. So we aren't getting around to eating diner at 9pm and they are still up at 11pm... I'll have to give this some thought and talk to DD to see what her opinion is too...

Well dear readers, I hear dinner teling me it needs attention so I am off to take care of it!

Most wonderful Thursday evening dear Readers!

This will be brief tonight, have my little ones Kindergarten Graduation to go to in the morning so I want to get some good sleep so I look and feel great at the graduation.

I fell out of the habit of writing a gratitude list each night. So I want to get that going again. I figure commiting myself to doing that here is a good way to be accountable and get me back in the habit every evening.

So here it is~ my 10 things I am grateful for today:

1. Having a few dollars more than I had expected to have this month.

2. Being able to get little things for my kids that they want

3. Being able to put more than 5 gallons of gas in my car today

4. Having my internet back!

5. Wonderful, non judgemental people who are happy for me having another baby.

6. Being able to be a SAHM for the last 5 years and being able to be there for every mile stone my little one has had since birth.

7. Having a washer and dryer at home (now if I can just get Johnny to put me up a clothes line )

8. Flower seeds sprouting in my little garden I planted

9. Spending time with my kids

10. Having Johnny in my life

Good night dear readers!

I get internet back tomorrow! Lets have a party!!!! I am so looking forward to being able to start my day off with a blog post that helps me keep on track during the day! Not to mention having time on the computer to keep researching happy thought ideas to try. I really miss doig that every morning.

So things are pretty boring around here otherwise. Not much happening. Quiet, just the way I like it. However that is going to be changing soon with the kids getting out of school next week.

I am looking forward to it actually. Hoping that we will have lots of fun over the summer. Not really going to be going anywhere just hanging around local spots. But the river will be a priority as will be going to the park, playing in the yard and having bbq's and stuff like that.

I won't be horribly fat and uncomfortable for the summer. The worse part of the pregnancy will come in the winter YAY! I'll g to the doctors on the 17th to find out when Ill have my first ultrasound and from there we will find out for sure when I am due. I have a sneaky suspecion that I may be about 4 wees further along than I thought.

My last period lasted all of one day and was spotty. I chalked it up menopausal stuff... now, since I have gained so much weight and already have that little pooch I am wondering if perhaps that wasn't really my last period? Anyway we will find out something before too long. It's sort of important that we know how far along I am since at 40 (41 when baby arrives) I am classified as AMA (advanced maternal age) I'll need to get a CVS and ultrasound at 12 weeks.

Anyway we wait and see... I am getting excited about the baby now. Thinking all about all the stuff I want to get. Bassinet, crib, and all that fun stuff. been looking at baby stuff at the store and online. Can't wait to start buying a few thing here and there.

I am going to start buying a bag of disposable diapers each payday to help offset that expence of bringing baby home. This is going ot be fun

Well I am off to tuck myself in! Hope ya'll have a great night and I'll be seeing you more here very soon!

Good Evening Readers!

I get internet back on Thursday! YAY!! I am a happy camper! Life will go back to some normalacy, like me getting to start my day with posting in my blog and getting the day started with my happy thoughts

I hadn't realized how dependent I had become on the internet... I was lost at first without it and found ways to entertain myself... but it sure will be nice to have it back

So that is about it in my world today... I'll write more later.

It is another beautiful day! The birds are singing outside my window, the air is crisp and clean this morning and life is AMAZING!

So I titled this running wild thoughts... Thats because I can't seem to keep my thoughts focused on any one subject for more than a couple of minutes and then off to another thought.

I need to clean house, get something for the small child to wear to church, make a list of baby things I want, get the dog pen fixed from where the dogs keep escaping (sharing a bed with 4 dogs and a small child is interesting!) Figure out what I am doing with some extra money I have coming (probably going in the gas tank with gas prices like they are) and so goes my thoughts of need to do's...

I am thinking it is pregnancy hormones but I have been so frustrated with Johnny the last couple of days. I feel like he has been ignoring 'us'. I am pretty sure it is pregnancy hormones because we aren't spending any less time together and he is talking to me. I just don't feel like it is enough.

Otherwise things are going pretty good in my life. Some normal daily ups and downs but over all good...

ANd so I leave you all with a challenge... come up with one happy thought today that is outside what you normally think of. Stretch your thinking...

For me my outside normal thinking happy thought is the idea of sitting down to a plate that is heaped with susage and eggs and hashbrowns and toast and orange juice sitting there and not have to be the one that either cooks it or is paying for it