Certainly 2009 has turned into a year of extreme changes and many milestones. I can gaurantee that this year will be one I never forget. And although many of things I have experienced have been traumatic... I have to say that it has all paved the way for what I know is going to be the absolute best time of my life.

The most recent changes have brought about a freedom to start a totally new life. It is a fresh new start for my children and myself just ahead of us. I am looking forward to the adventure that is ahead of us.

I can see how the last couple of years have laid the ground work for all of this stuff. I have been on a journey of learning how to be happy no matter what my circumstances. I realized today, I am THERE.

Although I am processing some grief, guilt and other negative emotions that are present... over all... I am truly happy. I wish I could explain it. Like how can a person be crying and grieving yet still be happy?

I miss my Mom and catch myself crying periodically because she isn't here. However, I can look back at all the good times she and I shared and even the not so good times and be grateful and happy for the time I had with her. I can look at the recent financial troubles and see how that they although stressful in the moment, always GOD came through to make sure our needs were met. I can look at my car breaking down, what a pita that has been, yet it was also a blessing. I am getting out and walking every day. Walking I wouldn't have done if the car was still running. I am getting excercise and sunshine that I would have missed out on. Both the excercise and the sunshine are keeping depression out of my life. Not to mention that with my son only 5 months old and me at 41 years old, I am back to wearing my prepregnancy jeans And now the latest hardship... it too has brought good things to my life.

Yes indeed, 2009 will be a year I never forget. My year being Job. I have lost many "things" this year, some things I could not imagine living life without, and yet my faith in GOD never waivered and I can see the sun on the horizone, coming to light my life and GOD coming to restore all I have lost.