Most Fantastic Friday Evening Readers! It has been another wonderful day in the life of Troubledmom. Nothing grand or fantastic happened... just a nice hohum sort of stay at home day. We did have a bit of a cloud burst that was very refreshing. However my 16 year old got caught out in it and called me for a ride. Poor baby lookelike a drowned rat when I picked him up. Gave him a ride back to his dads and got to chat with him a little a bit. He is such a great kid. I hope he knows how proud I am of him.

So I have been a bit lax lately in doing in real active work with my happy thoughts stuff. But it dawned on me today... even without daily intentional work on it, I am doing pretty good at keeping mostly happy thoughts. I know if I get back with the program and really intentionally work on things it won't be long before it is totally part of my nature and won't take as much effort. One thing I did notice though I tend to get a bit more aggitated at 'big' things without the happy thought activities everyday. The small stuff I can deal with and immediately look for the bright ide... the bigger things I don't look at happy thoughts until I am well past aggitated and remember that I am suppose to do that.

Things with Johnny and I seem to be going along ok. I have had some concerns that I am hoping are just from my hyper sensativitiy and not any real cause for concern. It is still a wait and see thing. But 3 months of being together without any serious problems has me feeling more secure in this relationship than I ever have before. The only thing that has been an issue, well two things I guess, are first he has been really absorbed in doing genealogy stuff and I tend to feel really neglected because of it. The other thing is he has had some convo's with his Ex and didn't tell me about them at the time. I heard about them later because something would come up and he would say something that told me he had talked to her. Probably just me being over cautious in this but still worries me a bit.

And the last thing going on in my life right now... I haven't had my period yet . It is a week late. I am in a bit of a quandry over the whole sitch. Part of me would LOVE another child, especially one with Johnny. But then realistically, I have 5 children, my oldest is 22, I am over 40, and the baby would be 6 when this one came along if I am pregnant. Actually my oldest would 23 when this one arrived...

So I find myself hoping I am on one hand and praying I'm not on th eother and having talks with God letting him know it His ultimate decision wether I am going to be a mother again or not and trusting Him.