It is another beautiful spring day here in my mountains. There is a soft breeze blowing and the air is crisp and refreshing. Life is good. After the last month of things being so financially tight that I wondered how we might actually make it through, things are getting better. Not perfect, but better. Catching up on things htat are needing to be caught up on. Still dont have internet. Have to go to local hotspots to check on things. Although now that we have gas in the cars it is a little easier so I'll be around a bit more.

The last week has been a lesson on communication for Johnny and I. It is interesting how we bring our baggage from the past with us into new relationships. I have a built in fear of degrading and devaluation if I share feelings or hopes with a partner. So often I withhold things to avoid the fear. I always thought it made life easier that way. With Johnny I am learning that as Ishare things with him, and he validates what I am feeling or wanting, even when he doesn't agree~ he doesn't tell me I shouldn't feel/think that way, he acknowledges it is my thoughts and feelings and we talk~ anyway as I share with him and then on occassion hold back... I am learning in this relationship it isnt easier to withhold, it is esier to share. By sharing there are no secrets and with no secrets we have a more honest and real relationship. Pretty cool.

He and I have been back together 2 months plus a week or so. So far so good, things are going along rather well. I am feeling more comfortable that things might work out this time and on the occassions that I have fear pop up I have been able to look at the situation and actually see if it is based on reality or my perception...

Speaking of perception... that is for another post hopefully that I can make later today. But Ihad a whole interesting conversation with a lady who has borderline personality disorder. It really made me more aware of what people are talking about when they say something like "That is how you perceived it"~ I use to think it was an invalidation of what I was seeing/feeling. After the experience with the lady with the BPD I have a whole new understanding... we all perceive things through the filter of our own unique experiences... sort of like the story of the 3 blind men who each touched part of an elephant and then described it... each ones description was totlly different than the other one because of where they were at touching the elephant...

So I have a whole bunch of notes I wrote about this matter that I will try to share alittle later with all of you...

For now dear readers, it is time for a cup of coffee and getting things done around my house so it remains my sanctuary...